You know you live in Christchurch when....

This landed in my email inbox today. I don't know who wrote it, but if it was you, please message me and I'll credit you. 


What makes it funny is that it's oh-so-very-accurate.

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN CHRISTCHURCH WHEN......

Geonet / ChristchurchQuakeMap is your homepage 

The rest of the country offers you a place to stay 

"Munted" and "buggered" are official technical terms (used by both the Mayor and the Prime Minister to describe the state of Christchurch) 

Source

You go 'pfffff' when Wellington has a 4.5 earthquake that's 40km deep 

You see a nice park in another city and think it would make a good evacuation point 

You sleep in one suburb, shower in another and collect water from yet another 

When you drive on the right side of the road and no one thinks it's wrong 

You are happy two Policemen came for a visit 

When your bike becomes your best friend 

You think it's fine for a soldier to be stationed at the end of your street

You see armoured vehicles driving down the road 

It's normal to greet people with "do you need a shower?" 

A bucket of sh*t is no longer that old car you drive 

Every house is a crack house 

Instead of rushing to the clothes line to get clothes in when it rains, you put dirty washing on the line in the hope that it will rain enough to clean them 

Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense(note to non-kiwi blog readers - Wellington has traditionally been considered the most likely location for "The Big One")

Your doctor recommends having a few stiff drinks before bed to help you sleep 

You have tied the pantry, liquor cabinet and all the cupboard doors closed and it's not to keep kids out 

You prefer to sit under the table instead of at it 

You think electronics that have "shock proof" should say to which earthquake magnitude 

You know and actually understand the terms and conditions of your House and Contents insurance policies 

You can see irony in claims about houses made of "permanent materials" 

Your en-suite has a vege garden, dog kennel and grass 

Your teenagers are only too happy to sleep in the same room as their parents 

You stop using the term "built like a brick sh*t house" 

Dressing up to "head into town" means putting on a hi-viz vest, hard hat and boots 

Discussing toilet habits with total strangers is an everyday norm 

Wee boys don't get excited when they see (another) digger or a dozer - but all the adults in the street cheer wildly 

Voluntarily staying in Timaru for five days seems like a good idea 

You know what that extra gear lever on your 4X4 is for 

Metservice includes a graph for dust 

You have dust mask tan lines

You can use the term "liquefaction" in everyday casual conversation, even your 3-year old can 

When a massive group of students appears in your street, you feel overwhelmed with gratitude  instead calling the Police. What's more, the students leave the street in better condition than when they arrived 

The answer to where anything is ... it's on the floor 

You smile at strangers and greet people like you're one big family